I didn't have the time to welcome the second half of 2014 as July approached. I was too busy with work, now that I have 2 posts in the institute, a lecturer and a quality management officer. Weird, back in my old institute, the one I had loved dearly, I was never entrusted enough to be given any posts.Or maybe people there were too judgemental and I just came to realize it now.
I am not one to be crazy desperate for positions and influence. But being given a chance to show my potential (especially in english speaking stuff), is an honour that I am more than just a cheerful lecturer who greets everyone with a 'good morning' everyday.
6 months have passed sinced I reported duty in this polytechnic and I have met all kinds of people. Honestly, I thought there would be no other place better than my old workplace in Sabah. I dearly missed the environment, the people, the friends... But in time I have learned that there was a reason God put me here. To be happy. And to learn that Sabah did not love me as much as I loved her.
A lot of things are different if I am to compare here and there. But I have learned to adapt. Here, my talents are appreciated. People listen to my ideas and people value my gifts. I don't have much to show off, I don't have a husband, children, a big house or car and I also don't have a Masters degree people desperately want so much. But my opinion counts and it boosts up my confidence. I am given opportunities to shine with my language skills. And I am no longer "anak pengarah" a heavy burden to carry, trust me. I am simply "anak Hj Mus yang pandai ckp english macam mat salleh..." I am happy I make my dad proud as he had made me.
It was indeed a difficult first 3 months, having no close friends as I went out to lunch or breakfast alone. But in time it became a habit and I honestly feel very comfortable going to places by myself without the need of asking people if they'd like to come too. However, occasionally I would go out with people and we enjoy a few happy breakfast and lunches together while gossiping about fashion and current issues. To be safe, I set limits to being too close with people. Because I don't trust people enough. Judgemental pricks, people are. I would move away as I get too close.
How I survived being alone in a new place? By being POSITIVE. By remembering I had been through worse. It was a struggle moving from KK to Ipoh. After these long months I learned who my true friends were. In hardships, who had been there for me? Who sent me to the airport to wave my final goodbye? And who, when I needed people, ignored my silent call for help? I didn't realize it back then, I was too sad letting go of a place I loved dearly. Now I do. God put me here for a reason. To learn, to live, to love and to be happy.
Goodbye KK.
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