T & L : Time for a change

On a clear Monday morning I entered my classroom with my set of whiteboard markers. The students were already there, waiting for me to begin my class. One of them came up to clean the whiteboard from the doodles of the previous lesson. I started calling names to fill in the attendance form.

As I began the lesson, I noticed students punching in a last few words on the smartphones before flicking the "silent" button. Some updated their Clash of Clan right before tucking it into their bags. I knew by the sound of the intro theme.

And so my lesson began. The typical powerpoint slides, the boring lecture... the "any questions?" question. And of course, followed by the fake "I understand" nod by the students. At one point of this uninteresting lesson, when I realized half the class was sleeping, I ask myself. What the hell am I doing? The point of the 16 hours per week lectures is to make students learn Traffic Engineering. Not to bore them out of their minds...

And so I went to INTI International University in Nilai to observe their blended learning implementation.

Okay so we don't have high tech facilities. But we have brains. We have the ability to generate methods of Teaching and Learning to make the students learn instead of sleep. We are well aware that the Gen-Y (or millenia) students are different. Students at this time were exposed to computers and smartphones at the age of 5. And in a short time, babies in the next generation will be born scrolling trough iPads and tablets. Certainly we cannot expect them to learn things OUR way. You know, the kind where you go to class and talk non-stop while they were wishing time would run faster and forcing them to read through 500 pages of textbooks.

There will be many excuses, such as "No budget" etc etc... But for how long can we hide behind these excuses? There was a time in education where lecturers don't have computers at all, let alone e-mails. But they managed to survive that. Then, there was a time where everybody else had a laptop and so we struggled to buy one too. And remember the shift between dot metrics to Bubble jets to 3 in 1 scanner/copier/printer? We did our best to catch up with technology. So, If we can do that, why can't we evolve mentally too? I mean, certainly we cannot just keep telling students "When I was in university I only had this and that and so should you..." This is the Facebook era. Move on.

It's time for a PARADIGM SHIFT.

1. FACEBOOK
A professor from INTI IU, reminded me that when students don't like something, they post it on Facebook. And there is no limit to what they can and cannot say on Facebook. As educators we must respond. No, not by commenting and making it viral, but by taking actions silently. We read, we understand, we find a solution. It is not our place to fight our students like uneducated keyboard samurais.

2. eEVERYTHING
Most students can afford smartphones along with internet that comes with it. And they will bring these gadgets wherever they go. And I know some lecturers who would firmly tell their students to keep away these gadgets during class. Instead of telling them "Don't" why not tell them to "Do". Do google any interesting information related to the lecture. Do tell me if you found better ideas. Do argue if you find my statements are not verified by wikipedia.

3. ACCEPTANCE
We are so tied to our rules and curriculum that we don't allow our students to generate their own ideas. We force them to think like we do. We become upset when they don't meet our standards. Gen-Y students are known to be sensitive. When they feel like they are being caged, they lose interest and rebel. In the end, we only produce average students whose goals were only to "pass" exams. Let's let them try and make mistakes. It is our job to guide, not force. We must provide reasons on all the "why" questions they ask us.

4. ZERO JUDGEMENT
This should come without a detailed explanation. Let us NOT judge our students on what they wear or what they do in their free time because our job is to help them get the diploma they want. We teach them the courses we were assigned to, not judge how tight their pants are. We are not training military. There's no such thing as "If you don't wear this, you'll be stupid..."


Well, okay I noticed how long this post has turned out to be. Before my TPA walks in and saw me blogging instead of "working" I better sign off. I hope I will become a better educator. It's my long term goal. To educate. Not teach.

Work... So far...

I didn't have the time to welcome the second half of 2014 as July approached. I was too busy with work, now that I have 2 posts in the institute, a lecturer and a quality management officer. Weird, back in my old institute, the one I had loved dearly, I was never entrusted enough to be given any posts.Or maybe people there were too judgemental and I just came to realize it now.

I am not one to be crazy desperate for positions and influence. But being given a chance to show my potential (especially in english speaking stuff), is an honour that I am more than just a cheerful lecturer who greets everyone with a 'good morning' everyday.

6 months have passed sinced I reported duty in this polytechnic and I have met all kinds of people. Honestly, I thought there would be no other place better than my old workplace in Sabah. I dearly missed the environment, the people, the friends... But in time I have learned that there was a reason God put me here. To be happy. And to learn that Sabah did not love me as much as I loved her.

A lot of things are different if I am to compare here and there. But I have learned to adapt. Here, my talents are appreciated. People listen to my ideas and people value my gifts. I don't have much to show off, I don't have a husband, children, a big house or car and I also don't have a Masters degree people desperately want so much. But my opinion counts and it boosts up my confidence. I am given opportunities to shine with my language skills. And I am no longer "anak pengarah" a heavy burden to carry, trust me. I am simply "anak Hj Mus yang pandai ckp english macam mat salleh..." I am happy I make my dad proud as he had made me.

It was indeed a difficult first 3 months, having no close friends as I went out to lunch or breakfast alone. But in time it became a habit and I honestly feel very comfortable going to places by myself without the need of asking people if they'd like to come too. However, occasionally I would go out with people and we enjoy a few happy breakfast and lunches together while gossiping about fashion and current issues. To be safe, I set limits to being too close with people. Because I don't trust people enough. Judgemental pricks, people are. I would move away as I get too close.

How I survived being alone in a new place? By being POSITIVE. By remembering I had been through worse. It was a struggle moving from KK to Ipoh. After these long months I learned who my true friends were. In hardships, who had been there for me? Who sent me to the airport to wave my final goodbye? And who, when I needed people, ignored my silent call for help? I didn't realize it back then, I was too sad letting go of a place I loved dearly. Now I do. God put me here for a reason. To learn, to live, to love and to be happy.

Goodbye KK.

Why I live alone...

A lot of people raised eyebrows when I told them I live all by myself, in a quite costly house, away from the society. The faces they made are usually followed by statements such as;

"Oh it must be so boring being you..."

"Really? You must have that much free time..."

"Awwww... Are you sure you want to live alone?"

"I know some places you can rent along with some singles..."

"Wow... you must be bored after work and weekends..."

Okay, I thank thee for being so caring and sympathetic but really, honestly... I don't need it. Alone is where I can do whatever i want, whenever I want and however I want. It's not that I don't have a choice, trust me I have been bombarded with pamphlets of "single white female" adds. I just chose to ignore them and live alone. Because I WANT TO.

In college I suffered 3 years of living in a house of 7 people. Yes. 7 people means 7 different opinions even on the smallest matter. And of course I was ambitious, seeking for straight A's to maintain my JPA scholarship. (In my days below 3.5cgpa means no scholarship). So basically I tell people who wanted to be in an assignment group with me to do things the way I like it. Yeah, of course I was naive and young and say whatever that was in my head. I used to spend hundreds on studies stuff and sometimes I expected my friends to do the same.

But they were not quite from a rich background. And I guess my expectations and demands were "offensive" to many.

Thus began the isolation. A house of 7 people and I felt more alone than I could ever be. No friends. And they picked on the smallest things I don't do such as sweep the floor, wash the dishes, pluck weeds.. etc..etc.. I mean seriously you see 6 people doing those already and you think, why the hell do they need me to do those things when I'm working my butt off doing assignments for 7 people?!
(When it comes to assignments I'm miss perfect and I disapprove of their standards)

The cruelest things mean girls do is talk behind your back to people OUTSIDE their clique. And making those outsiders think of you their way. I mean, really, you hate someone, why not just tell it to their faces? Of course, they prefer laughing and giggling and making sure your life is hell. I was an outcast in my own house. And I think I learned enough lesson from that.

I had my share of living with the society. And after going through paid hell... I think I'm better off by myself. I can buy whatever I want, decorate my house however I want and wake up whenever I want.

The only person I wish to share a house is with my husband coz it's like the law or something. If he stinks, or messy I won't hesitate to kick him out for sure.

I live alone. I am extremely happy about it.

My Struggle With Malaysian Internet - PART 1

Ok so we are indeed not even close to being one of the TOP 10 countries with high speed internet. We are not even in the top 20, despite being known to be ASIAN and "developing".

I'm sure this picture makes you want to live in South Korea... But what I'm saying is not only do Malaysia's internet bears the lowest speed it could possibly get... but the number of BLOCKED websites are also a menace... Don't get me started on "QUOTA".

It's annoying really to have limited choices. Yeah thank God for Broadbands you can carry your modem anywhere without having to look for pugs and sockets and cables. Also, thank you Starbucks for the free wi-fi. And thank you to fiber-based internet for rich people. (Looking bad at poor old dial-up net).

What bothers me the most is that the government wants everything to be done "ONLINE". From banking to shopping to facebooking to e-Learning and so on and so on... And this makes people who can't have easy access to internet a bit "kampung". And people that do have access, charged to their death for every volume of internet they use.

QUOTA is RIDICULOUS. It was back in 2008 (I think, too lazy for research) when our PM decided to make everyone pay for each byte of internet. I mean, what happened to charging by good old internet speed?! This means you are limited to 5GB of internet per month for RM98.00 and should you want more, you gotta "PURCHASE" the data volume. While people who uses internet only for boring e-mailings and stuff don't give a f- what they are being limited to, people like us who uses internet for EVERYTHING else, suffer. 

Okay if that's not enough, how about BLOCKING some websites? Especially when they see certain websites has too many hits. You can block all the porn that you want, but it only leads to people Torrenting (is that even a word?) them and spreading em around in Hard drives. Some even selling em for money coz well, its marketable due to those restrictions. So yeah, kinda pointless. And okay fine, religious.. political debates are the reason for that and I don't have much against it but blocking ACCESS TO FILE SHARING?! Really?! You are that desperate to keep your people's minds inside a cage??? "Because we can't afford to allow piracy." Would be your excuse. Dude, do you see any Hollywood actors and stars and producers living under bridges? No. They live in mansions in Beverly Hills because they don't freaking care who downloads their movies or music from Torrent.com. 

That leads to a smaller scope. Government institutions. I love my job, yeah. And I love the idea they planted in our head that everything has to be "e". From e-mails to e-FRPs to e-Learning and e-Filing... the list goes on. And I love how those "e"'s make my life easier. And they also gave us courses to "be more creative" in teaching, make videos and animations for your students. I love how I am allowed to be creative and hell yeah I am excited about it...

What I am NOT excited is when I log on my computer using my OFFICE net and wanting to log on YOUTUBE to download motivational videos for my students, this popped up.

Okay so they blocked YOUTUBE. I'll download it using my sad 5GB limited broadband I pay for with my sad salary. I'll just get some music for my video background -

REALLY? MP3 Skull - BLOCKED. 4Shared - BLOCKED. etc etc...

Ok so bye bye videomaking. I decided to do some trolling with the internet. So they found out about the "https" thing and also blocked FACEBOOK. There goes social life. I typed the word "GAME" in google and LOLed at the fact that any website with the word "GAME" is blocked. So is "ENTERTAINMENT", "HOLLYWOOD" and a few malay words I can't remember. So basically all I have to live at work is plain empty google.com having no idea what to search for.

I don't know for how long we are going to live with not only the SLOWEST internet in the world, but also the most EXPENSIVE and most LIMITED access to anything. While people around the world are enjoying World of Warcraft without "lags"  here we are working in front of a government desk trying to pay for our personal internet to use for official work only to receive SMSs from phone companies saying "You have reached your quota limit. Please give us money to continue surfing".

A little Inspiration... The Teacher

Stories like this, always have a way of putting the right perspective on life.


Jean Thompson stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school in the fall and told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same, that she would treat them all alike. And that was impossible because there in front of her, slumped in his seat on the third row, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were unkept and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy was unpleasant.

It got to the point during the first few months that she would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then marking the F at the top of the paper biggest of all. Because Teddy was a sullen little boy, no one else seemed to enjoy him, either.


At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's records and put Teddy's off until last. When she opened his file, she was in for a surprise. His first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright, inquisitive child with a ready laugh." "He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."

His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy continues to work hard but his mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class. He is tardy and could become a problem."

By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem, but Christmas was coming fast. It was all she could do, with the school play and all, until the day before the holidays began and she was suddenly forced to focus on Teddy Stoddard.

Her children brought her presents, all in beautiful ribbon and bright paper, except for Teddy's, which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper of a scissored grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of cologne. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume behind the other wrist. 


 Teddy Stoddard stayed behind just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and speaking. Instead, she began to teach children. Jean Thompson paid particular attention to one they all called "Teddy."



As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. On days where there would be an important test, Mrs. Thompson would remember that cologne. By the end of the year he had become one of the smartest children in the class and...well, he had also become the "pet" of the teacher who had once vowed to love all of her children exactly the same.

A year later she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that of all the teachers he'd had in elementary school, she was his favorite. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.

He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still his favorite teacher of all time.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson she was still his favorite teacher.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still his favorite teacher, but that now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering...well, if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the pew usually reserved for the mother of the groom. And guess what, she wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And I bet on that special day, Jean Thompson smelled just like...well, just like the way Teddy remembered his mother smelling on their last Christmas together.



THE MORAL: You never can tell what type of impact you may make on another's life by your actions or lack of action. Consider this fact in your venture thru life.

How NOT to ABUSE work e-mail...

Many employees (government servants especially)  seem to use the free workmail provided to them  as a way to fight with each other or their bosses. They seem to forget the etiquette of formal e-mail writing and end up offending others. Work etiquettes are not taught in school, hence it is learned through weeks, months or even years of experience. But sometimes, as employees evolve to seniority, they tend to forget their manners in writing e-mails to bosses or colleagues and end up (intentionally or not) offending people.

Remember, everything linked to internet is permanent. Once you post that hate mail, there is no turning back.

Here are some rules to use workmail respectfully:

1. Re-look, re-read your e-mail again and again before pressing that SEND button. Correct typos and replace casual words with formals especially writing to higher ranking colleagues.

2. Check if you want to "REPLY TO ALL" or not. You don't want your desk neighbourhood clique gossip to reach everyone in the institute.

3. Keep e-mails short. You don't need a 300 word introduction to "...there's a meeting tomorrow."

4. Write CLEAR and PERFECT subject lines.

5. Don't forward hoaxes. Keep your political lies in Facebook or your personal blogs.

6. Let people know their e-mail has been received. Yes all you need to say is "thanks, i will take action ASAP." Don't leave em hanging and wondering if you read their mails. (Of course everyone loves the "oh sorry I didn't receive your e-mail" excuse).

7.  ONE subject per e-mail. Seriously!

8. Read your e-mail as the receiving end, see if they could be offended. Do NOT write an e-mail when you are stressed or angry. You will regret it.

9. DO NOT respond to provocations. People will bring up some hot offensive issues from time to time. Even if it bugs you, never respond.

10. Keep your class. Only use e-mail for work issues. Funny stuff belongs to facebook.

Those are the basics...! Have fun working and stuff...!

Poetry : To The One I Never Had

Writer's Block sucks... However, my brain managed to squeeze out some ideas.
A humorous approach to one sided crush. Nothing cheesy.

Remember you said I was too costly?
Well, of course you couldn't afford me
Second rate is your only target
I guess your taste is based on budget...

Goodbye now, and also good luck
From now on I do not give a F-
I'm off to be with he who loves me
Enjoy your Mrs Fat and Chubby...!!!

Read whole poem here.